[He and his partner grabs Willie and Waldo]. Carl Otis Winslow: I understand that. My parents would only take Steve if Steve's parents promised to take me. You kissed me. Carl: Maybe I should laugh a little bit more, huh? Family Matters is a comedy that has many serious episodes, something many sitcoms delve into from time to time, but "Good Cop, Bad Cop" is possibly their best offering of drama. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, when are we leaving? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [under laughing gas, laughing] I just realized, your name is Doctor Smiley. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You paid him off. These kids are gonna ruin everything, they have to go. I'll teach that. Eddie: Name's Eddie Winslow, but my friends call me Eddie. Carl Otis Winslow: [to himself] That's just was well because we might not be allowed to go back into that restaurant again. [leaves]. Harriette Winslow: No, Carl let's call it what it really is, Cheap and Lazy. Carl: What? You refuse to go out with me for the last decade! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What're you so happy about? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: How could you mess this up? The notion was apparently incongruous enough to ABC, the longtime home of the hit comedy ''Family Matters,'' which features the geeky Urkel character, that its executives . This means you guys have to go together. Steve Urkel: Hey, you gotta get up if want to get dow oh [guests scream as Steve falls off the edge of the roof]. Steve Urkel: It wasn't that play that cost you the championship. Bushwhacker Luke: Me mother was arrested by cops last night! I'm drawn to you. Harriette, THERE IS A CAR IN THE LIVING ROOM! Why would somebody do this to me?' He acts like a gangster, gangsters hate cops. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Steve, how did you get so good at checkers? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Well I for one am appalled. Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Laura: Sure. You see, I use verbs. My, what strong arms. Laura: [grabbing his arm] Ooh! Steve Urkel: [thinking he's playing hide and seek with Laura, Eddie, & Judy and a shower starts running] That shower running doesn't fool me Laura! Steve Urkel: You know what, Laura? Robber: Oh yeah? Steve Urkel: No state your name not name your state. Steve Urkel: I've got an Uncle Dirk Urkel who was blessed with a two-foot long nose hair. In the current social climate that is rich with dialogue about appropriate consent between men and women, women are quite reasonably, on guard about objectification. Waldo: Don't do it, Urkel! Oh, yes it is! Steve Urkel: Oh, I'd better lock it then! And since no one will play with me, I have to say so myself. [Stefan tries to stop the chamber and the chamber ends up being busted. "Pass the salt, Edward." Stefan Urkelle: Not I know that's not Carl. Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Who do you think bought his first pair of shoes? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: Oh don't worry they promised to come back tomorrow. [Steve is eating frozen fish sticks out of the box]. How would you like it if I put Jheri Curl in your deodorant? Steve Urkel: Did I mention my dad knows Wayne Newton? I'd lay one on you that would weld your glasses to your face. Steve Urkel: [points to Eddie] His words, not mine. No. Carl: Harriette, there is a car in the living room! I was kickin' butt. Rachel Crawford: Steve? Can you imagine that? Steven Quincy Urkel: [Grabs a blanket and a pillow and heads to the bathroom only to rush back out seconds later] No! Steven Quincy Urkel (generally known as Steve Urkel or just simply Urkel) is a fictional character on the ABC/CBS sitcom, Family Matters, who was portrayed by Jaleel White. He's a very large man who should be here any minute now. Doo da doo da. Steve Urkel: To be quite honest, Fuffner; I'd written you off as being incorrigible. Steve Urkel: I can't help it, Laura. Whatever Happened To Steve Urkel From Family Matters? - MSN [Eddie comes crashing through the living room in the car], [Stefan did not take his "cool boost" for that week - he wants to turn back into Steve]. Come here. Eddie: I don't believe wat just happened, dad took Waldo to the bulls game. Me and the guys were going to have a flyer party next Saturday when you go out of town. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: [not knowing Steve and Laura saw each other naked] All right, chicken. Steven Quincy Urkel: Oh, put a cork in it, Missy! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Forget it, Carl, it's quicksand. Laura: Let me tell you something. Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. I'm Stefan sweet thing. Carl Otis Winslow: Hey, your old man's read a book or two. Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? Eddie: I guess this means you're gonna ground us, huh? [faints]. The nuptuals have developed a slight snafu. Refresh my memory. It's not funny, it's dangerous. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Who? Eddie: I don't see what getting beat up is gonna prove. Steve Urkel: My uncle, Elijah Urkel, has been struck by lightning four times. Family Matters Compilation - "I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up - YouTube Don't mess with Mrs.Bonecrusher! Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. I'm in this class. It's fascinating. Cassie Lynn: Becky Sue! I'm Stefan sweet thing. Why would anybody want to kill her? And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: What's wrong? Rachel Crawford: [to Harriette] He's not gonna make him quack. Waldo: Yeah, but I was so nervous when I asked her out that before she could answer, I barfed all over her shoes. No. "If I were a stop light I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". I can assure you that we Urkels are a fine, old family, with a proud name. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Then there's in the summer, when we use him as a human bug zapper. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, so is Urkelbot! Steve Urkel: But, I've been practicing and my progress is impressive, even if I do say so myself. Can't see a darn thing. Waldo: Laura, I know I'm just wasting my time, but would you like to kinda, maybe go out with me, sorta, tomorrow night, maybe? Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: Bye. Who does these things? Wha? Trying to cover it up only make things worse. How much do I owe you for parking? Every time I'm around them, my mind goes blank. Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Ms. Steuben: No, I'm a nervous teacher! Cassie Lynn: That may be what happened, but that won't be what the people believe. She actually said, "Human Being". And it will also think of a range of mistakes, not just the standard fare of stats guys everywhere: the disastrous trade up. Myra Monkhouse: Um, one plus one equals fun? He opted ofr early retirement. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It was on his tongue! Steve Urkel: I'm more of a polka kinda guy. All kids 7 and up go to Eddie's room and play Nintendo. They just love juicy gossip. [takes note and crumbles it, Laura slams locker door, revealing the word 'N*gger' spray painted on it]. Blogging Everyday on Tumblr [Goes to feel his head]. I love this lady [Laura] and I can come over here anytime I want to and you can't stop me! Pull your gun right now. Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Cassie Lynn: Look, Becky Sue. Let's just hope we can rub off on him before he rubs off on 3J. Why he showed great strength of character and what's his reward: you fire him. Steve Urkel: Hi Laura, my little sweet potata! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Oh that's sweet, what did he say? I think I'm gonna have to fire Waldo, Steve. His relationship with Eddie was usually better than with Carl and Laura. Yesterday he said 'get lost, Fido Face!' Harriette Winslow: Now let me get this straight. Laura: I was thinking about taking a home economics class so I can learn how to cook. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Good answer! 36 Steve Urkel ideas | steve urkel, humor, funny - Pinterest Pick-up lines get a bad rap for being cheesy and cringe-worthy, but if you start your conversation with the right dose of interest and humor, you may end up scoring a date or a number. Steve Urkel: Oh, well, no problem-o. Rachel Crawford: I'll just take your word for it. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: He must've been dangerous. Then, you broke my car, and it cost me every cent I got to fix it and rent this "delightful" room here at the "Fleabag Inn". Judy Winslow: Boring. How did you know? Carl Otis Winslow: Might have. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You remember our flyer party, the one that I'm clearly on record as totally aganst. Nick Neidermeyer: Do I have to remind you who you're talking to? The rest of the rules are covered in this contract. [does Steve's laugh and snort]. I feel stupid! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Myra, your mother told me you came here, so I assumed you're becoming a nun. "Some people are ignorant, they're afraid, they hate anybody and anything that's different. Carl: Who are you and what have you done with our son? [Carl is appalled as he has a donut in his mouth], [Carl has just bought Harriette an exercise trampoline for her birthday. A small gastronomic goof up. Steve Urkel: Well, ya see, we had a little muffin mayhem. The lovestruck genius of Steve Urkel - CNN Video Steve Urkel: I know! Steve Urkel: Oh, nothing. Waldo: Hey, you don't have to like my cookin', but, please, don't call me names! Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty. Estelle Winslow: Carl! All you'll hear from me is an occasional, 'Mmmhmm, that's right.'. Steve Urkel: [cracks up] Oh, that's rich! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: When you're hurting other people it ain't harmless. Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, who are all these kids? Why, a few sessions on the Muscle Master and you'll be drooling over my deltoids. Oh, good. Look how big and thick it is! Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: Then how 'bout a nice juicy thigh? Curtis: I know you're disappointed. Rachel Crawford: Well, Steve, I am your boss. Carl Otis Winslow: [furious] Edward is in jail. Carl Otis Winslow: Harriette, I was steamed, I didn't want to do something I'll regret. And OOHHH, and him! The Steve Urkel NFL Draft Preview | Football Outsiders You had an accident. Carl Otis Winslow: No. You may be my boss, but that does not give you the right to come into my home and be obnoxious to my husband and his friends. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No, I *am* a serious little nerd. Rachel Crawford: Thanks Steve. Snap, Sidekick: [with the Serpents] All the doo-dah day. I'm here. Wha? Laura Lee Winslow: Yeah, that's right, how'd you know? This library card is proof that ONE person can make a difference. And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. Laura Lee Winslow: Hey, my locker's open! We are properly trained. [Handing out] Menu, menu, menu, menu, menu. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. You're my friend. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: No thanks, Eddie. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Freddy Krueger! Steve Urkel: The woman's been flirting with me. [laughs] But you never smile! Rachel Crawford: The balcony scene is next. That's why here I have compiled the sexiest and smart pick up lines to use on guys to make them interested in you! Laura Lee Winslow: [crying] Steve why do you always say things like that? Your eyes are like the ocean; I could swim in them all day. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. It better be a dead relative in your excuse. Laura: [Long pause] Your looks. Stupid? Steve Urkel: We met once. Oh! Laura Lee Winslow: O.k. Steve, what happened? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: But you humilate me everyday. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Was I ever! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [to a sorority girl] That dress is so tight! [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. Steve Urkel | Family Matters Wiki | Fandom Carl Otis Winslow: Edward, why can't you manage money like your brother, Steve? You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. A mouse to cheese! At the airport he picked up 6 bags. And sometimes I was sorry I ever started the whole thing, but I didn't quit. I love you more than life itself. It's not fair. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Well, how did you miss it? Carl Otis Winslow: [trying to convince his boss that using Urkelbot is a bad idea] But Sir, you and I have been to the Police Academy. Harriette: That won't get the stains out. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Me and Laura went ice skating together. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). Steve Urkel: Could. [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! They're disgusting. Steve Urkel : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive Laura: Remember when you tried to teach me how to sew? Carl Otis Winslow: [More excitedly] Yes, ma'am! So I walked in the library, sugar, I couldn't believe my eyes, there were THOUSANDS of books just sitting there waiting to be read. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'm not dreaming anymore. Steve Urkel: Mmm, steak. Laura Lee Winslow: You're lucky, you got into a great fraternity and all it cost you was your best friend. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Stephan] Laura Winslow, you are the sun, the rain, and the wind that flowers my soul. Lt. Murtaugh: They're sending in that Urkel kid. [cries]. Laura: But but, where'd you get that radioactive stuff? Steve Urkel's Young Neighbor On 'Family Matters' Is All Grown Up - HuffPost Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Laura Lee Winslow: You couldn't check out a book? Carl: [after kicking Steve out of the house] And don't you ever come back! Instead of cool, it was set on Nerd. Carl Otis Winslow: Laura, what's going on in here? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [after Steve, Eddie & Waldo sang 'My Girl'] Don't we remind you of The Temptations? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Well for one thing, I can't feel my toes. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean, you want to kiss me? Steve Urkel: All right, Laura, we'll randeavou at the Isetta. Harriette Winslow: Before you stormed out of the house, I forgot to mention to you that I called OGD's Grandmother back in Detroit. Laura: No! Harriette Winslow: Honey, that's not true. Steve Urkel: Uh no. Ms. Steuben: All right, class. [puts his thumb as his mouth, baby voice] If I were five. Muskrat Time! Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Laura: We're not going anywhere. Having aired 215 episodes, Family Matters is ranked third, behind only Tyler Perry's House of Payne (254), and The Jeffersons (253). Steve Urkel: Well the good news is, my dad will do the operation for you. Waldo Faldo: Be careful he has another one. What's up? Carl Otis Winslow: I didn't bring my gun. Halawna, Oneisha: [pop up in the car Clarence stole] Surprise! Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. Harriette Winslow: Carl, you snuck into my card box and gave me a card that I already have. Laura Lee Winslow: Oh you're not a sorority, you're a bunch of vicious, stuck up barracudas with teased hair and push up bras. Harriette Winslow: You have to understand, back in Detroit where he's from, the police are considered the enemy, so he doesn't trust them. "What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Oh well Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: You mean to tell me that the Army screwed up the paper work again. I may get a B. Laura: Dad, this is serious. Their own version of the 3 R's? You got the whole family off on the wrong foot. Carl Otis Winslow: Only 2 of them were his. Maxine Johnson: Yeah and poor you, you gonna miss your prom. 430+ Dirtiest Pick Up Lines Ever - TheStallionStyle
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