But we started fighting more and more. And one of the problems is the appearance of a question having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it? It is normal to want to lay your head on your mother's breast and feel the security and warmth of her love and compassion. Last updated on June 9, 2022 by Michelle Devani There are many things that may cause a broken heart. That showed up as a third factor." . After I really got to know him without drinking and partying, I found out I didn't like his personality. He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. You need a job and a plan so that you don't get stuck with him forever. What can I do please? Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. He just has a side I don't like. !I've been married for ten long miserable years to a wife I never loved. They were always fighting. Aside from personal decision to have an unwanted relationship and questioning such question of having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it, we will need to be responsible. A cesarean birth, which accounts for 21% of births today, costs around. As I said earlier, each person has different needs. We live together, that's all I can say, we have nothing else. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. She got pregnant 3 months after meeting him. . Does the father know? ISNT THAT WHAT WE ALL WANT? 4. He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. Not that it matters - if you have feelings for someone else, you can't be in love with your gf so sounds like leaving is the right decision, as staying together for a child with someone you don't love never works out in the long run. NO PHYSICAL THINGS. You can't force yourself to love him. Eventually though, it caught up to us. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. You wouldn't happen to be burning a bra right about now would you? Don't assume the baby will be just like his daddy, your baby may have a few similarities to him cause he's his child but your baby will be one of a kind in your eyes. What kind of advice do you really want, the best advice would be to take care of your baby, dont let yours and your other half (lool) silly selves to pollute her upbringing. Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. Man up and take care of your kid, but UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES can you let her, or her family, or your family guilt trip you into "doing the right thing" and marrying her. After a while it was better but even now when we get into arguments he's so controlling and condescending it just makes me like him less and less. To help you make the fewest blunders possible, let me give you a few tips: 1. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. He's not all bad. I tried to keep them happy and not see the fighting. Be strong. 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Tell her at home and in private. After a little while, if you still feel the same (i.e. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. If I cant love her now, what are the possibilities that Ill love her? . Only good thing that came out of it are my children. The transition from being a couple to having a baby and becoming parents is an exciting, empowering, and life-changing experience. Like, we really, seriously, truly love it. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. We made it to 8yrs. Time to grow up! I do love her a lot as a person but i am not in love with her. U dont love her bcos u havent made ur mind to do so the moment u sit down to think about this gurl as a grown man n de future, am sure u start developin love for her and am sure u liked her thats why u slept with her what makes u slept with her?? We are two total opposite people. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. She will touch you in a gentle way, kiss you softly and hug you with her heart. I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. It's that type of kindness you feel toward someone who's very close to your heart. I know some people may be asking why having sex with someone you dont love. After having a baby, a woman will be, on average, 2.5 to 5 lbs. Right now her parents are planning to bring her over to my house. I have a good job with good income and will pay half of the costs, I didn't want to lose her but I did. 1.) Some of us got promoted while pregnant or found new jobs, it is not impossible. The author playing in the snow in December 2022. And beware if your list of reasons is merely a hollow echo of your partner's. 3. a deed frowned upon by society and seen as a problem The deed has already been done instead of advising and coming up with ways to make sure the child is brought up in a obviously deserving loving environment that the child needs instead of an environment filled with resentment, hate, misery, spitefulness etc etc, you all are pushing.insulting and forcing the guy to guy marry the girl in question.. marrying that girl would even be a bigger mistake and problem than the first one. To not make the problem goes worse, be responsible for your unwanted partner and the baby. You shouldn't have a baby unless you're in a committed relationship and have a foundation of financial and emotional security. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? ( though I dont see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. You would [hopefully] love your child, while also realizing that you shouldn't be having sex with anyone that you don't want to have a baby with. U r runnin away from marriage cos u didn love her b4 ?? So, chances are, she's not speaking as she normally would. Men don't have a biological clock in the same sense as women. I want to love this baby, but I can't shake how I feel. A lot of women are alone while pregnant or with young children and they have a life they can be proud of. It stressed us kids out like you wouldn't believe, all the kids are dysfunctional, serious trust issues. Sometimes their families even paid a dowry to the groom . In other words, those maternal. You are in control of your life. He's not in love so he's selfish??? So, we got married. (5 kg) or more a year after giving birth, Live Science previously reported. It's the kind of care for your emotions, feelings, and love. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. But I want to be a father. and our 2005-2023Everyday Health, Inc., a Ziff Davis company. We keep them up because there are a ton of great conversations here and we believe you deserve to see them all. A baby doesn't get to choose who his parents are so I think if you feel you won't be able to love your baby, it would be best for the both of y'all to be open to adoption. Love My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman By Alex Alexander Written on Dec 23, 2022 Photo: fizkes / Shutterstock When I met my polyamorous boyfriend , Buddy, I couldn't. You should do what will make you happy. FTM. But kids are smarter than you think. She actually is (5 months now), but I took all the words back (the reasons why I didn't want to be with her). Begin speaking about the kids, as well, mentioning different accomplishments they've made lately . I FEEL SORRY FOR THE GIRL INVOLVED. Congratulations, a new bundle of joy is coming to fill your home with love and bliss. I feel that i have fallen into serious depression and i might seek some professional help. start communicatin with her without quarrellin give her a try n am sure things gonna work out Or r u afraid u wont be able to sleep around or play ur games wen she step into urlife dear dwag such life n face reality. His family is great also. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Not. HERE YOU GIVE A CHANCE FOR THE MOTHER, THE CHILD, THE FATHER AND THE GIRLFRIEND AT HAPPINESS IN LIFE. AND NO ONE IN THIS SITUATION WILL BE HAPPY IF IT IS. Firstly, I am sending my regards to you all. The way you wrote that sounds like you think what a man wants is not as important as what a woman wants. Long story short. advice needed h heatha_heatha Posted 2/4/14 My boyfriend and I have only been together since November. DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? "Once you cross that line, look for life to get easier in every way. I agree that love is more a choice than a feeling. A year has passed, we have a beautiful little girl that I love with all my heart, but our marriage life is a disaster. I don't know how I can be a great weekend father. I've made my OWN money since I was 15 years old and before I quit my job to MOVE Paid for all my own stuff and bills WITHOUT his help. I feel bad for you but you basically gave him the green light to control you. I would start making a game plan, create a change. I wasn't happy. But I don't know if I can be with her for the rest of my life. You had the intention to be with someone for fun without taking the consequences seriously. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. The baby grew in her, she birthed it, she fed it, and she nurtured it every step of the way. Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. I've been trying to put my pride/ego/whatever aside and be with her, but it really kills me. Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. I even feel guilty saying this considering how hard other couples are trying to have a child and can't. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. On top of that, my age (early forties) scared me into accepting the situation thinking that i am too old to start all over again and wasting more time. You have a hard decision to make. I know most of yall are gonna tell me to leave him and I wish it was that easy. Accept That You Will Never Be First. WTF re u saying tat u will nt marry her if I was tat gal u will marry by force so tat when u die n return u will fu*k people that u love total rubbish.Now u want freedom my ass u wont get so whos gonna to marry ur baby mommy?? By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. On the other hand, if you do not love her but only want the child, it is also very selfish of you. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. AND THIS ALSO INCLUDES AN UNHAPPY CHILD. You have to do what you feel is right. the guy might turn into a psychopath and malevolent towards the girl.he would also probably turn into a serial cheater and wife beater which is usually what happens. The thought of her raising my kid with another man makes me feel sick, I hate this. Romantic relationship of beautiful couple. useless boy!! And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? She has done nothing wrong and I feel I am just going to destroy her life! There is very little physical attraction. Do not be with someone you don't want to be with. I know that my kids love us both. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. NOW THE CHILD IS BORN. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. She's too far along to have an abortion.,. Married for few months. Please, please do not have an abortion like somebody commented. And both of you surely need to stay in touch. Why is it when a women gets up the duff it's all her fault? I can't bear the thought of breaking up and not being a part to this child's upbringing. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. We only dated for three months before I got pregnant. Eventually I grew to love him, but not the fairy tale kind of love. Also, if it's bad now it will only get worse once the baby is here. A. When a woman loves you, she's kind to you. My father married my mother when she became pregnant times were different then of course. I've been with my boyfriend for years and I still don't know if I love him. 9 min read. dont do it I married my ex for the same reasons it was terrible for not only us but my children. You will need to end an unwanted relationship. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With It? This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. She doesn't deserve that. This is nuts. The #1 app for tracking pregnancy and baby growth. He nearly killed you. Purposely avoiding sex is a great time to have your own awakening Not having sex can be a. The way you speak to yourself has a lot to do with the way you view your situation. A Group Leader is a What to Expect community member who has been selected by our staff to help maintain a positive, supportive tone within a group. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. if she wants to put kid in day care every day, she can and you pay for it). There are many women out here who will do this if given the chance. I want to be a great Dad, but I don't want to be miserable for the next 18 years - I don't know what to do. It is tough to find time for yourself, let alone your spouse. As such, you'll need to spend time with both his child's mom and his child. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. I didn't want to end up starting a family in my 50s. You need to be upfront and honest nothing is worse than being lied to when feelings are involved. She has someone who depends solely on her. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. After all, a 70-year-old guy can still have kids. I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. I don't want to burden her with any of this, especially now that she needs to be calm and feel secure. the repercussions and consequences of such an act always plays out. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you. Whether the mistake were made with or without your intention, it still your mistake anyway. I want to leave my 4 months pregnant girlfriend !! Right? What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. Don't just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it. The stories of council-flat, benefit scrounger single mums are so far-fetched. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. What to Expect supports Group Black and its mission to increase greater diversity in media voices and media ownership. Don't try to be super-parent and don't let other people's unfair assumptions affect how you see yourself and your family. When I did he the. And remember, folks who don't want kids don't want kids. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! Anyway, if you don't want to be with her, make that very clear. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. Recently I found out I am pregnant. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. Your best bet might be to stay with your gf for now, bond with your child and forge a relationship with him/her. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. They had to do it because the marriage was arranged or demanded, as their families saw them as a burden and financial responsibility to be passed on to a man who was willing to take her off their hands. But there's a catch: Because you believe that having this child means more to you than not having this child means to your husbandand because he had originally agreed to three kidsyour. I know he can tell I'm not in love with him and I think he thinks he's in love with me ( told me he loved me only after 3 weeks of dating, should've been my first red flag there) anywho we don't really fight a lot and are mostly very friendly around eachother and really do try to make it work but when he gets in his moods I just can't he got drunk one night and almost ran us off the road after telling me he was fine ( he really was acting completely fine) then when I screamed due to being terifed he yelled at me, took away my phone and told me to get out of the house , which I did. If you feel a message or content violates these standards and would like to request its removal please submit the following information and our moderating team will respond shortly. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. Be mature about it don't depend on her to be safe you be safe, if she don't comply then don't have sex! So, maybe try to establish a relationship with your baby now, stick it out for a year or so (w/o getting married), then once you've bonded w/the kid and proven you are a devoted dad, split up w/GF and file for custody. I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Group Owners uphold the core values of the brand by reporting content that violates the community guidelines. We are deciding if we should divorce now or later when she is bigger. CLARITY friend you do make a lot of sense. You need to discuss with him so that you won't need to face the how do I deal with a break up while I am still pregnant his baby alone. Long story as short as possible! All rights reserved. Twins & Multiples: Your Tentative Time Table, Planned c section too presumptuous??? THE MOTHER KNOWS THE FATHER DOESNT LOVE HER NOW GUESS WHAT SHE IS ALSO MISARABLE! In the time that I got pregnant I feel that I was in a daze thinking I was in love but recently I feel like I snapped out of it. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. You can be in a long-term relationship with someone and never get married. long story short. We don't have to be together to love our children. She may have decided against an abortion thinking you will still be with her, but if not, TELL HER it is over and you will not be involved with her anymore (except of course whatever involvement you ahve with the child, support and custody-wise). I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? She doesn't want an abortion, and I know it sounds terrible but I keep hoping she will miscarry, however she is 16weeks gone and that's unlikely . !So the next time you wake up and look at the zit face woman you married that disgusts you and you hate her because you could have banged all the women you wanted but she got knocked up! Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. Sorry for the long story, but I wanted to give you an example of how the other side of things could go. I know life would be so much easier if we were together, but I don't know if it's worth it. Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. Is it okay for you to feel down all the time thinking about the mistake you did? :(. That's what we tackle in today's blog. (1 to 2 kg . You need to get in contact with services and leave. Be confident. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child.
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